Dear messy middle girly,

Today you see yourself differently.

You see yourself consistent with healthy choices.
You see yourself as someone who can… instead of someone who keeps saying “that will never happen.”

You can finally see it.

Not just in your thoughts…
but in how you show up.

In how you dress.
In how you move.
In how you speak to yourself.

And the time you spent with hubby this morning really showed you that. The conversation you two had this morning melted another piece of your heart back together.

It was almost an hour.

Talking.
Laughing.
Cuddling.

Seeing hubby in his light.

Watching him glow while talking about his passion.

PCS computers.
Mindsets.
Building things.
Creating things.

And something beautiful happened during that conversation.

You gave him reassurance.

Because years ago… you had said things to him that were truthful… but they came out harsh.

He had seen those moments through the wrong lens.

But today you were able to remodel that moment.

You were able to give him understanding.

You were able to explain the accountability you had been looking for all along.

You both wrote down plans.

You talked about what you expect from each other.

You talked about how you will hold each other accountable moving forward.

And then he said something that stuck with you.

He said it has been amazing watching you heal.

Watching you grow.

Watching you build.

So you asked him something.

Something that had been sitting in the back of your mind.

You asked him,

"Promise me you're not upset that I'm growing… or that I'm at the highest level I've ever been."

And his answer melted your heart.

He said:

"No baby. It's been amazing watching this pattern unfold.
Now it's my turn to step my game up and keep growing too."

Friday night you both ordered everything for the office.

Because you knew that if things were going to arrive on time…

you had to move with intention.

Your spirit and your intention together are creating something powerful.

A divine masculine.

A divine feminine.

And peace is falling into place faster than ever.

Because for the last three years…

you've been living it.

Eating it.

Breathing it.

Smelling it.

Consuming it.

Being consistent in it.

Even during the moments when you doubted it.

After the conversation…

you both got up.

You cleaned up the house.

You picked out clothes for the day.

You threw the bedding into the washer.

And you started the day.

Small moments.

Simple moments.

But moments that show the difference between surviving…

and living.

Then you both started going through the cabinets.

The cup cabinet.

The coffee mug cabinet.

And together you made the decision.

Remove the plastic.

Keep only what matters.

Only one or two sacred memories from the girls.

Because healing also means changing the environment you live in.

These are the moments people forget.

Being present.

Making intentional choices.

Building something together.

And while you were doing all of this…

he was already cooking dinner.

So you wouldn't have to think about it later.

He called you beautiful today.

And you accepted the compliment.

You didn't deflect.

You didn't joke it away.

You received it.

And today…

you noticed something else.

You drew your eyebrows with intention.

You looked in the mirror…

and you saw yourself differently.

You and hubby have become the ultimate ride-or-die.

Not because life is perfect.

But because your defense mechanisms no longer control the relationship.

You can speak.

You can be seen.

Even when it's messy.

You don't just speak healing.

You live healing.

Reminder To My Messy Middle Girly

Some parts of the messy middle are meant to be walked alone.

Some parts of the messy middle require guides.

And some parts of the messy middle are meant to be walked inside a relationship.

Each piece reveals something different.

Each piece shows you where you're going.

And here is the truth most people ignore.

Healing will never look the same for everyone.

But there is one thing that will always reveal the truth.

If you are still attracting the same man…

then you are only speaking healing.

You are not living it.

But if you meet someone new…

and you take things extremely slow…

even when your body craves connection…

then you are doing it right.

Because healing relationships are built slowly.

Not rushed.

Not forced.

Not driven by old patterns.

Jumping into a relationship too quickly…

before truly getting to know someone…

is just another version of the same pattern.

Love,
Dr Quinn

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Love,
Dr. Quinn